6/29/2007 01:13:00 AM

Hi there, was wondering if people do visit this blog.

Anyway, Mid-year Common Tests are liked over, correction, its over. Yes, I should rejoice about it, but I`m not in the best of mood actually. One word to describe this CT, screwed. Initially I thought I could go SIAO A after thursday, but apparently, I didn`t. I was deep into thoughts, and thinking of how screwed up I am. First thing that came into mind, I`m going to disappoint my parents. My heart almost dropped out when my mum asked me about the CTs. Like hell, how can I answer her? "Oh, I`m failing majority of them"?! Well, I just brushed her off, but in my heart, I see the word 'hell'. Have I done enough? Well, I just feel that I could have done so much more. Yet, it is difficult to define enough. Perhaps, this CT just isn`t up to my expectations. I thought of how I used to study real hard for the Olevels, and I think of the efforts I put in now, not up to standard. Is this my self expectation or simply nonsensical thoughts that I`m having? I was wondering, what if I failed my one and only hope for the CT too? BULLSHIT. This is will go on and on.

Seriously, it means nothing to be in AJ if you are at the bottom of it. I don`r feel a sense of belonging in AJ, and maybe thats why the thought of overseas study and polytechnic keep popping out in my mind. On second thought, maybe its because I`ve gone through 10 years of conventional education that I`m getting tired of it. Yet, I ain`t sure if I can adapt to the unconventional education system. I was thinking what would life be liked if I have gone on to take Psychology in NgeeAnn. Well, at least it is something that I am really interested in. Cut this short, I ain`t contented with life now.

Out from academics, it spolit my mood for one whole night, and whenever it comes into mind.
Byes for now, I need a break, sighs.

I miss ahgong.