5/01/2005 04:00:00 PM

mua life now ish
c o n t r a d i c t e d d
and i realli mean
c o n t r a d i c t e d d
uu both
c o n t r a d i c t e d d
mua whole damn life.
i've gort ntg tuu say.

t r u s t
fineee...
i lost uu both
t r u s t towards mii
izzit bcos uu both
t r u s t
mii too much dat i've neva experience watx
t r u e p a r e n t a l l u b b ish?
did i eben realli experience it bfer?

i am
g r o u n d e d d.
g r o u n d e d d by two fools.
i've neva claimed dat.
uu both claimed it urself.
fineee...
fetch mii home from skool everidae
if uu fink uu both will bi happie.
sho bi it.
use ropes tuu tie mii up.
i'll jux sit dere wibout resisting.
i wun resist animore.
jux consider mii as having
n o p e b r a i n s.

uu both c o n t r a d i c t e d d mii.
uu both claimed uu noe i've studied hard.
i've put in mua effort
burt watx der end result and der onli sentence i gort?
" i noe uu can do betta. "
ish dat der onli replie uu can gib mii?
i'm nortx asking uu tuu praise mii.
if uu both dunch find it c o n t r a d i c t i n g g
i do.
i'm too c o n t r a d i c t e d d by uu two tuu noe watx going on now.
uu both find it a waste of tym tuu chat on der fone.
fineee...
i cut down a whole lot.
still did uu both eben realise it?
i've gort ntg tuu say.
i dunch eben noe howta express it now.
i lost mua resistance since ytd.
i'm tired tuu resist.
i'm too c o n t r a d i c t e d d tuu resist.

dunch claimed dat uu both noe mii well.
if uu noe mii well.
why aren't uu giving it tuu mii?
i'm nortx asking uu both tuu buy mii tis and dat.
tuu satisfy mua nids physically.
i'm jux asking fer
t r u e p a r e n t a l l u b b
if i had known.
i would rather bi lyk korrkorr.
i wun bi strong on der surface.
i w u n.
uu both knew i nidd der lubb.
uu both knew.
uu both said it tuu mii wib ur own mouths.
i dunch eben feel it.
i dunch.
did uu both onli realise it when uu saw watx happen?
when uu saw baobeii and i hugging?
if it ish onli den uu realise.
i hope uu neva will.
cos it's u s e l e s s.

i admit i broke der promish.
sho watx if uu gib mii another 3 days.
i wun do it eben uu gib mii a life tym.
i w u n.
if uu want mii tuu bi happie.
den dunch force mii tuu do it.
dunch eben use dose threatening words.

i dunch want tuu feel der hugg uu gave mii after der whole damn ting.
if dat hug was meant fer mii tuu do dat ting.
i would rather nortx get dat hug.
cos dat hug ish a
t o r t u r i n g one.
it ish a
h u r t i n g one.
it onli h u r t s mii when i fink of it when i feel it.
it s u c k s.
i dunch wanna hold bac mua tears everi tym i fink of it.
der feeling s u c k s.
i dunch lyk it one bit.

if onli i wasn't a gurll
if onli i was grown up.

sho dunch say uu lubb mii.
when uu both eben noe mii.

i dunch hate uu both.
i jux
i've gort ntg tuu say.

today i lost mua smile.
i lost mua laughter.
i feel sho e m o t i o n l es s when i'm wibb uu both.
i dunch eben feel lyk speaking up.
i'm n u m b.

i've gort ntg tuu say.
='(
mua hart ish h e a v y.


i lubb uu baobeii.
wo aii nii.
wo bu hui fang qi ni der.
wo ye bu hui fang shou der.
jiu zi you yi ge jian dan der li you.
ying wei wo ai ni.
uu are stuckk in mua hart.
mua hart ish attachedd tuu uu.
ai-si-te-i-mas.
*muacchhs.
*huggies.

stay happie alwaes baobeii.

* gurllgurll--